This blog post begins the start of a new category that will overlap with other categories. That category is called social skills and is best described by the definition given at www.businessdictionary.com as the ability to communicate, persuade, and interact with other members of the society, without undue conflict or disharmony.

According to Henrik Edberg at http://www.positivityblog.com there are at a minimum at least eight basic tips on social skills that have been used successfully over and over throughout thousands of years.

One of the most basic social skills or component of social skills is to listen to another person or persons.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. ~ Ralph Nichols

Because people are often centered upon themselves and this being a part of human nature listening is probably one of the least appreciated social skills. Unfortunately most people are just used to talking about themselves or waiting for the other person to finish so they can start talking again. I have noticed that a majority of people, myself included, fall into this category.

Listening is about much more than hearing the words that come out of another person’s mouth. It is about showing interest in what the other person is saying and taking the time to understand what is being said. Rajesh Setty, who is a friend and business associate of mine, mentions that active listening is often overlooked for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, not being able to handle silence, amongst other reasons. Because of this people focus on talking rather than listening.

Henrik states to get past this he has found that it is important to just forget about yourself and focus your attention outward during a conversation rather than inward. In other words place the mental focus on the person you are talking and listening to instead of on yourself. This makes you less self-centered and your need to be in the spotlight diminishes.

When you actually listen to what people are saying it also becomes easier to find potential paths in the conversation. By asking what are known as open-ended questions – those that will give you more than a yes or no answer, you can explore these paths and have more interesting conversations.

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.— M. Scott Peck

Okay so this isn’t really an article but it is an ad for a book that I am promoting through a program called Low Stress Income. The name of the ebook/manual is Investing in You – Beyond the Power of Positive Thinking.

Anyway, here is the sales copy for the manual:

Have you struggled to get the things you want in life?

Have you purchased endless courses and tape sets to learn how to be effective?

We all have.

But are they working for you?

I’m willing to bet that you may have seen some results but the programs failed to deliver the big promises
they made.

This is because some of these guru’s are successful but just aren’t good teachers!

What does this mean?

These guru’s may have achieved incredible results themselves but they just don’t know how to bring out everything that they did to get there in their courses.

Maybe they aren’t intentionally hiding anything from you but there are things that happen in their unconscious mind that bring them the results they get.

I can show you the unconscious secret that they can’t show you:

http://bit.ly/19M7Ay

Thanks,
Keith Stieneke

PS. Take control of your mind, your heart and your life!
http://bit.ly/19M7Ay

Many times I have referred to Rajesh Setty in this blog, especially referring to information from his book Beyond Code, Learn to distinguish yourself in 9 simple steps!

Rajesh sent me his new book, upbeat, Cultivating the right attitude to thrive in tough times, a few months ago.

When I reviewed Beyond Code, I did it as excerpts relating to personal development. Although, there was a great deal of information in upbeat, that could be related to personal development, I decided for the time being rather than to review the book based upon each concept and idea presented to review it in its entirety. The review that I wrote is published on Facebook.

You can also read more about this book at http://www.rajeshsetty.com/resources/books/upbeat/

If we don’t discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us. – William Feather

Discipline is a choice not a legacy…

Discipline is nothing more than the process of focusing on any chosen activity without interruption until that activity is complete.

Discipline is something you do and not something you have.
You therefore have the freedom to choose to act with discipline and decisiveness.

To become what others refer to as a disciplined person requires
only that you “do discipline” over and over as a conscious act until repetition makes discipline a subconscious habit.

Doing discipline means that you choose not to allow fatigue or interruptions to become an excuse for inaction or a change of plan.

* Discipline is the ability to stay focused on your chosen action path
without detour, distraction, or interruption

* Discipline is the ability to keep all agreements with yourself
and with others, without blame, excuses or caving into obstacles.

* Discipline is the ability to show up on time, everytime.

* Discipline is the ability to complete important personal or business
projects on schedule and on budget.

* Discipline is the power to keep going forward,
when everything around you seems to be pulling you back.

The result? Discipline generates trust and confidence in yourself,
and attracts trust and confidence from others.

The constant act of discipline magnifies your power to accomplish at least 1,000 percent.

If you put off everything “till you’re sure of it, you’ll get nothing done.- Norman Vincent Peale

Change is difficult but often essential to survival.  – Les Brown

Sometimes we must make permanent changes in the way we deal with and view certain parts of our lives such as dealing with relationships, weight management, money management and so on. This short blog post is about the main component essential to these changes, that being responsibility.

Making permanent changes in your life requires responsibility. Otherwise that change will be temporary.

That responsibility according to personal development guru Anthony Robbins is done only by accepting three core beliefs:

1). Believing we must change is not enough, it must change.
2). You must be responsible in other words say I must change it, and
3). I created what I’m experiencing, therefore I can change it.

Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale

Are you getting what you want?

Anthony Robbins in his book Giant Steps – Small Changes to Make a Big Difference talks about the very real fact that in order for you to get what you want that you must discover what’s been preventing you from taking action. Think of something that you’ve avoided doing until the very last minute.

The example that Anthony gives is of those who put off doing their taxes until the very last minute. But what happens on April 14th? Procrastination disappears and we quickly change what we associate in our minds as bringing us pain or pleasure. Not taking action suddenly becomes more painful than simply doing your taxes.

You may ask how you can use this insight to make changes and to help you get what you want in life. It is a matter of changing the question that you ask to “If I don’t take action now, what will this ultimately cost me?”

Pain can be your friend if you use it effectively.

Proverbs 23:7 states: For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.

This is not your typical article about the Law of Attraction as this is about how the things that cause happiness or unhappiness, positive thoughts and results or negative thoughts and results affect our lives and who we are. Before you can apply the Law of Attraction you must break out of negative thought patterns.
This blog post is about mind-sets and how these mind-sets affect our way of living either positively or negatively.

According to the thefreedictionary.com a mind·set or mind-set  is:

1. A fixed mental attitude or disposition that predetermines a person’s responses to and interpretations of situations.
2. An inclination or a habit.

If your mind is cluttered with unorganized thoughts it is likely that your living or personal work space is cluttered. If you visualize positive outcomes to situations then most likely you will enjoy the physical aspects of those outcomes.

If you have people in our life who are always complaining and arguing and bringing their negativity to you it is quite possible that their mind-set will affect yours. Although it may be difficult and something that you don’t want to do, it may be best to distance yourself from those people who bring you down, at least until such time that their attitudes have less or no affect on yours.

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

ANTs is an acronym that stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. If my research is correct and feel free to let me know if it isn’t, the terminology was coined by stress researcher and Viennese physician Dr. Hans Selye.
A simple approach to break away from such thinking is as follows: First, NOTICE that you’re trapped in the vicious cycle of automatic negative thinking (ANTs). Then, decide to BREAK THE CYCLE by using a “thought stopping” statement Finally, find something to DO that takes your concentration, interest, and focus AWAY FROM those old negative, vicious-cycle thoughts. (Thanks to http://www.anxietynetwork.com/hstop.html)

Here are the tell-tale signs of ANTs:
Automatic
* You don’t decide to think them. They are like a habit so it may be hard to not think them.

Negative
* They make you feel bad about yourself. For example, “I’m useless”.

Believable
*They will seem true and you may accept them as facts. They are often biased and distorted by your mood.

It is important to catch these thoughts so that you may stop them:

Use your feelings as a cue.
If you ever notice a sudden downturn in your mood, try to identify the thought that caused it

Watch out for events that make you sad
If there is a particular event that often leaves you feeling low, ask yourself why. See if you can isolate any thoughts you had that made you feel bad.

If you would like to break away from self-defeating thinking and developing new ways of dealing with life and getting the things that you want you must realize the following:

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind. -Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

So change your state of mind, that is your mind-set and you will change your life.

Here is video proof that friendship is just not a human connection and that animals can remember!!!

Occasionally I will do a post on this blog about a product that I believe can help you in someway to improve your life. Energy is a subject of importance to many people. I am not talking about energy such as electrical power rather I am referring to the get up and go that some of us have these days. In other words I am using energy as related to vim and vigor. Ebullient vitality and energy, as in he was full of vim and vigor after that swim. This redundant expression uses both vim and vigor in the sense of “energy” or “strength.”   If you suffer from fatigue or other such low energy symptoms then what I am going to mention in this post may definitely help you.

The product that I am referring to here in this post is called High Energy and is available for only $15.97 for a 30 day supply. Some of the benefits of this all natural supplement are:

• Increases energy and alertness.
• Strengthens immune function.
• Relieves stress and improves oxygen levels.
• Acts as an antidepressant.
• Increases sexual interest.
• Mobilizes blood sugar from the liver.
• Promotes a healthy nervous system.

If you are interested in finding out more about this product such as the ingredients that it contains I would suggest checking out the High Energy page.

Hopefully this product can be as helpful for you as it has been for me. Thanks in advance.

Technorati Tags: energy, vim, vigor, vitality, ginseng

Have the holiday’s got you down? If so here is my Christmas gift to you, 25 Ways To Boost Your Holiday Spirit:

1. Leave a gift certificate on a neighbor’s door.
2. Take a frozen turkey to the local school principal to give to a family in need.
3. Purchase a kids winter coat and give it to the local school principal to give to a family in need. (Don’t forget the hat and gloves!)
4. Gather a group to sing Christmas carols at a local retirement community
5. Bake treats to give away to coworkers and your children’s teachers.
6. Go to a Christmas tree lot and pay for someone’s tree.
7. Pay for the food of the person behind you in the drive thru.
8. Use a picture your children made for the cover of your holiday cards.
9. Sincerely tell someone “Happy Holidays!”
10. Volunteer at a local soup kitchen.
11. Shovel your neighbor’s driveway. (or pay to have it shoveled)
12. Pass out ‘secret notes’ to everyone saying “I wish you a Merry Christmas.”
13. Leave an extra $20 with the coffee shop clerk to pay for the next several guests coffee.
14. Smile at everyone (make sure you smile with your eyes as well!)
15. Leave a gift card with the grocery store cashier to give to a customer in need.
16. Pay for the gas of the person at the next pump.
17. Give a gift card to the local school principal to give to a family in need.
18. Take a bag of dog food to your local humane society.
19. Buy a cell phone gift card when you pay your bill to give the person behind you in line.
20. Tell your family how much you love them.
21. Make a snow angel outside your neighbor’s front door.
22. Call a friend to share the sight of the beautiful full moon. (the next full moon is January 11th)
23. Buy a bunch of gloves and give them the local church.
24. Clean the snow off the windows of the car beside you in the parking lot.
25. Share this list with everyone you know. Lets all get into the Spirit of giving this holiday season!