To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation -Chinese Proverb

The next to the last step within what Rajesh Setty describes as the outer game of distinguishing yourself is about listening. Unfortunately for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, about asking questions, not being able to handle silence, and others, people focus on talking rather than listening.

There are several steps to developing better listening skills. These include but may not be limited to:

1: Listening to yourself first so that you encourage positive self talk.
2. Learn to ask the right questions, because our ability to talk less and listen more will depend upon two things. These two things are our wanting to listen, and our ability to ask the right questions.

It is improtant to listen without prejudice. Trust messages as if they were received from one of your mentors. Resist the temptation to reach conclusions instantly and to make statements based on such conclusions. Remember to keep an open mind as you will never know who will give you the next great idea.

A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with. - Kenneth A. Wells

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Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. - Albert Schweitzer

This is the last post about the inner game of distinguishing yourself. The next posts about distinguishing yourself will focus on the outer game. According to Rajesh Setty the last step of the inner game is about love. Within this step of exploring ones inner self consider that passion rules. Problems arise so that heroes may overcome them. Remember of course that Success=Love what you do and Do what is required.

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. - Allan K. Chalmers

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. -  Francoise de Motteville

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At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. - Jean Houston

Do you know that through laughter you can help distinguish yourself? Not only that laughter can be helpful in fighting illness as you are more positive and encouraged by it.  Rajesh Setty says that the second step in the inner game on the course to distinguishing yourself is to laugh. The most important thing is to laugh at yourself, to not take yourself too seriously.

If you can laugh at yourself you are likely to make more friends and develop your character. To thrive in your work choose a place where everyone takes their job seriously, but does not take themselves too seriously.

Laughter gives us distance.  It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

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My apologies to Rajesh Setty the author of this fine book that is written as a means to let programmers and other high tech people distinguish themselves. The reason that I apologize is that it has been over two years since Rajesh sent me the book for me to write a review and due to personal circumstances I have put off doing so until recently. The purpose of his book as stated at http://www.lifebeyondcode.com is to provide a recipe for technology professionals to raise above the commodity crowd and become remarkable. So why am I reviewing this book on a blog about personal development and self-improvement? Read on and discover why.

There is so much information to digest from this book that you must first break it down into the 9 steps that author Rajesh Setty uses in this book and them more importantly look at this information in light of the big picture. In distinguishing yourself you are most importantly developing yourself. But is this book about business development, about computer software writers and programmers, or about personal development? Does it apply to the software developers and programmers or to people in general?

The answer to these questions is simple. In the constant journey to distinguish yourself professionally you develop characteristics that can and should be applied in both your business and personal life. Rajesh comes from a background of among other things being a computer software developer; however, in my opinion this book is not just for software developers, but it is rather for anyone looking to stand out from the crowd. In doing so a person engages in a journey through personal growth.

In Beyond Code Rajesh examines what he refers to in the journey to distinguish oneself as being steps in the inner game and the outer game.  Over the course of the next month these steps will be the focus of  nine to ten blog posts. I will mention Rajesh in each of these posts. If you would like to check out his blog that offers several of his insights on the subject of his book as well as helpful tips for online professionals I would suggest visiting http://blog.lifebeyondcode.com/

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