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Jan
29
When communicating to recapture an ex, it is not always what is conveyed through speech that defines your success. To a greater extent, it is the unverbalized body language that can disclose your real intentions. If you are not honest in your endeavors, your body language will by no means keep quiet and you will fail. Here are some points to consider when trying to communicate with your ex.
It is important to maintain eye contact when speaking with an ex. The eyes are not called the windows to soul for nothing. When your ex looks into your eyes, they will be able to feel if you are honest in your attempts. Feelings such as resentment, hurt, and anger can also be interpreted. Hence, when communicating to recapture your ex, your eyes should be clear of damaging emotions.. The look in your eyes should cause your ex to sense the passion you have for them. Resolve any negative emotions so as to keep them from being projected through your eyes. You want to vary your gaze so as to not make your ex uncomfortable, occasionally looking away and returning back to their eyes when an important feeling needs to be expressed.. Remember that you too should look into their eyes when they are expressing deep feelings. This will convey a willingness to listen and understand their point of view.
Along with eye contact , body language is also crucial. Regardless of how warm and affectionate your eyes appear, if your body language doesn’t agree, you will appear insincere or worse a liar. Regardless of how aggravated you become with the conversation, do not fold your arms. This is an immediate symbol that you are growing defensive, and are not actually wanting to listen. If possible, the best technique is to hold your ex’s hand. This establishes an emotional bond as well as reminds them of good times you had as a couple. If you are unable to hold their hand, aim to keep you hands at your side or use them in unthreatening gestures to help express your feelings.
When speaking to your ex what your eyes and body language say about you should not be taken lightly. Applying the techniques mentioned above will aid you in making sure that your message is not conflicted when communicating to recapture your ex.
If your goal is communicating to get your ex back then you should start by watching this free video.
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Jan
19
1. Dress nicely. Dress as if you were going to work in a professional office or a job interview: no shorts, jeans, ripped clothes, halter tops, excessively short skirts, sneakers, etc. People who are not dressed appropriately have been sent home in the past!. Avoid excessive jewelry and designer handbags.
2. Compose yourself. It is very likely that you will see you ex-spouse during the court hearing. You cannot address him or her directly, you must only address the court and then only in response to the questions asked of you. You must not argue with your ex-spouse or get into any discussions at all. This is also not the forum to discuss visitations plans with him or her. Try not to be angry or emotional as it may cloud your thinking. Also avoid making facial or hand gestures.
3. Understand the limited nature of the hearing. If this is not a hearing on custody, visitation, medical bills or any other issue do not raise these issues. The court will only hear the issues that are related to the court hearing.
4. Leave your children at home. Your children should not be brought to court appearance. It is not appropriate. They will not be allowed to testify and the judges do not appreciate children in court during a hearing.
5. Prepare your information. If you have any information regarding your ex-spouses assets, for example, provide that information to your attorney in advance of the hearing. If that is not possible, then be as organized as possible with several copies of each document, so you keep one copy and also present a copy to the judge and your ex-spouse.
6. Be respectful to the judge and make eye contact. The judge is the one deciding what relief you should get and whether you are a believable witness. Be as respectful as you can, addressing the court as “Your Honor” and make eye contact with the judge.
7. Focus on the question. If you are asked a question in court, focus on that question. Be as specific as possible and don’t tell a long narrative. Just answer the exact question asked of you. Think about your answer before speaking. If it is a “yes”, “no” or “I don’t know” answer then just say it.
8. Avoid “Hearsay” Hearsay is information heard from another. The minute you answer “my friend-son-daughter-mother-in-law TOLD me…” that statement is hearsay. You can only testify about things you know personally because you have seen them yourself or because your ex-spouse has told you directly. If another person’s testimony is really important, bring that person to court with you so that they can testify.
If you want to read more about how to protect your legal rights visit family law attorney Scott Stadler’s website. Find out about the divorce process from beginning to end and how not being ready could affect you and your children.
