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Jan
11
Acting Interested In Others
Filed Under Relationships, Social Skills | Leave a Comment
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. ~ Dale Carnegie
Acting interested in other people and what they have to say may or may not be a social skill in itself, but it is important step in a variety of other social skills. If you are truly listening to what someone has to say then you must convey this by acting interested.
Dale Carnegie lists as number one in his “Six steps to Make People Like You” that you must “Become genuinely interested in other people.” If you become more interested in people then you’ll naturally become a better listener. Carnegie also relates that you must also do the following:
2 Smile.
3 Remember that a man’s name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4 Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5 Talk in the terms of the other person’s interest.
6 Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
It becomes easier find out what someone is really passionate about and to dispel negative assumptions that can mess up the communication when you are truly interested in what another person has to say. By listening you may find many similarities between one another and also learn to appreciate the differences.
When you operate as a good listener you will be a positive and pleasant exception among the others who are only waiting for their turn to talk again.
Pay attention to others and you will make them feel good because of the attention, and validating them and their interests. That is how connections are made.
There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person. ~ G. K. Chesterton (1874 – 1936)
Dec
18
Listening
Filed Under Listening | Leave a Comment
To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation -Chinese Proverb
The next to the last step within what Rajesh Setty describes as the outer game of distinguishing yourself is about listening. Unfortunately for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, about asking questions, not being able to handle silence, and others, people focus on talking rather than listening.
There are several steps to developing better listening skills. These include but may not be limited to:
1: Listening to yourself first so that you encourage positive self talk.
2. Learn to ask the right questions, because our ability to talk less and listen more will depend upon two things. These two things are our wanting to listen, and our ability to ask the right questions.
It is improtant to listen without prejudice. Trust messages as if they were received from one of your mentors. Resist the temptation to reach conclusions instantly and to make statements based on such conclusions. Remember to keep an open mind as you will never know who will give you the next great idea.
A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with. – Kenneth A. Wells
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