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Jan
27
The unimaginable has occurred – the relationship has broken up and you are left brokenhearted and your self worth is down the drain. The only thing on your mind is how to get your ex boyfriend back so things will be better once more. Everyone has gone through the same thing at some point. It is important to spend time to straighten your mind out before you even consider how to get your boyfriend back.
Keep an open mind when accessing your relationship. Think about what caused the split and is there enough left to give it another try? Clearly, if there was abuse of any kind or serious wrongs committed, you may not truly want that relationship back once you’ve thought about it. If small arguments turn into major fights because they were not dealt with right away,then knowing this can be very helpful moving forward.
The first step if you want to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back is by clearly making sure that the words you say to him are not the wrong words. In fact, it is often best to have a period of no contact after a breakup, particularly if a lot of harsh words were exchanged. Sometimes you both will need a cooling off period to let the pain ease before being able to move on. If your calls are rejected, cease calling him. Clearly, he doesn’t want to see you yet and you have to wait that out for a while.
Don’t stay home and think about him all the time during this stage, however. It’s important to let him see that you can survive even without him. Maintain your look, maybe even step it up a notch. Not only will that intrigue him if he should see you, but will also create the opportunity for mutual friends and acquaintances to mention you favorably to him. People always do this as it’s human nature. Friends consider both of you as one unit so it is normal to talk about you when they see him. Them saying how great you look and well your doing will work wonders to get him thinking about you.
Should you two cross paths, play it cool, don’t look overly interested in meeting him again This my go against your gut feeling but trust me it works Men rarely like to be pursued – their instinct is to be the pursuer. You should be friendly and personable but do not hang on everything he says, or begin to flirt. Show him your strong confident side, the same qualities that drew him to you in the beginning He’ll be left wondering why he ever left your side
Down the road, you can gradually begin to work out a scenario as to how to get your ex boyfriend back. Just take things slow. He needs to start feeling how much he wishes you were around and how empty his life is without you. Once he does, you won’t have to worry about how to get your ex boyfriend back because chances are he’ll already be pursuing you.
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Sep
25
Listening as a social skill
Filed Under Listening, Social Skills | Comments Off
This blog post begins the start of a new category that will overlap with other categories. That category is called social skills and is best described by the definition given at www.businessdictionary.com as the ability to communicate, persuade, and interact with other members of the society, without undue conflict or disharmony.
According to Henrik Edberg at http://www.positivityblog.com there are at a minimum at least eight basic tips on social skills that have been used successfully over and over throughout thousands of years.
One of the most basic social skills or component of social skills is to listen to another person or persons.
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. ~ Ralph Nichols
Because people are often centered upon themselves and this being a part of human nature listening is probably one of the least appreciated social skills. Unfortunately most people are just used to talking about themselves or waiting for the other person to finish so they can start talking again. I have noticed that a majority of people, myself included, fall into this category.
Listening is about much more than hearing the words that come out of another person’s mouth. It is about showing interest in what the other person is saying and taking the time to understand what is being said. Rajesh Setty, who is a friend and business associate of mine, mentions that active listening is often overlooked for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, not being able to handle silence, amongst other reasons. Because of this people focus on talking rather than listening.
Henrik states to get past this he has found that it is important to just forget about yourself and focus your attention outward during a conversation rather than inward. In other words place the mental focus on the person you are talking and listening to instead of on yourself. This makes you less self-centered and your need to be in the spotlight diminishes.
When you actually listen to what people are saying it also becomes easier to find potential paths in the conversation. By asking what are known as open-ended questions – those that will give you more than a yes or no answer, you can explore these paths and have more interesting conversations.
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.— M. Scott Peck
