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Jul
12
Sub-title: “The Curse Of Work-a-holism and How To Overcome It”
This is from an article that I wrote several years ago and that I am now dividing into two parts. The first part is about the symptoms associated with people who are referred to as workaholics.
Excuse my digression from my regular writing of marketing articles and let me apply my psychology degree to a matter at hand that many people tend to forget. . That is that we were not meant to work all of our waking hours. Please excuse the length of the article, as there is much to be said about the subject matter.
Back in the late 1960’s the rock group The Byrds came out with a song called Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is A Season). It’s lyrics came at a time when the world was undergoing the turmoil of the Vietnam War and reminded people that what was going on at the time was just a part of the evolution of time passing by and that the war to would pass in its time. The lyrics of the song are based on the Bible Verse taken from Ecclesiastes 3:1-9: The words taken from the Bible in one translation are as follows:
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: 2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
Do any of the following situations remind you of yourself?
1 Lately, your job has taken up much of your time.
2 You’ve even started bringing work at home and you keep working until the wee hours of the morning.
3 You spend Saturdays and Sundays with your head bent on your work.
4 And you’re supposed to spend these days with your family, or friends, or for your relaxation!
5 No longer do you work in order to live, but you now live in order to work.
6 Work is now the center of your daily life, while the more important things have been relegated to the trunk of your car; or in the backseat, if things are still not that worse.
7 The only time you don’t think of work is during the three or four hours a day that you spend sleeping.
8 You devote 16 hours of your day each day to working furiously: making money, reaching goals, working on giving your families the best, planning and mobilizing yourself for success.
If you have a combination of more than three of these situations occurring in your life it is most likely that you’ve become a workaholic.
Yes, there is a time to work, but there must also be a balance. There must be a time to relax. What can cause another wise seemingly sane person to become a work-a-holic? It is like alcoholism a disease in many ways.
If someone’s home life is unhappy they might rather than spend time going to a bar after work hours instead spend time after regular work hours doing more than necessary just to avoid going home for the evening. They may take work home with them and seclude themselves from their spouse or other family members with the excuse that the work has to be finished. This can become a pattern, since it is a way of avoiding situations that are not easily dealt with by the “work-a-holic”. Money problems, can lead to a person becoming obsessed with working. Once it starts, the work-a-holic personality feels as if they must continue to work or things will not get finished. The work-a-holic likes to shoulder the weight of the world. But this can lead to stress.
It is different things to different people. To a mountaineer it is the challenge of pushing physical resources to the limit by striving to achieve a demanding goal. To the homeward bound motorist it can be the hassles of heavy traffic and obnoxious exhaust fumes. To the student it can be exam pressure.
Take a piece of paper and write the word stress at the top. Now write down all the words and images that come to your mind as you think about this word.
Most people respond to the word stress in negative ways. They see it as a destructive, debilitating force.
Negative stress is DISTRESS. It is the stress of losing, failing, overworking and not coping. Distress affects people in a negative often, harmful manner. We all experience distress from time to time. It is a normal, unavoidable part of living.
To often those who become the obsessed workaholic go on and on until they experience the defeat at the end of the road often known as BURNOUT
Too much stress leads to burnout, a condition called BURNOUT, which is characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion.
The main symptoms associated with burnout are:
Chronic fatigue.
Anger at those making demands on you.
Self-criticism for putting up with the demands.
Cynicism, negativism and irritability.
A sense of being besieged.
Hair-trigger display of emotions.
A combination of all of these symptoms indicates that stress of working more than you should is wearing you down and that it is now time to take strong stand to do something about it.
Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day is an expression used a lot as an excuse of not getting a project finished. “Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day”, has been used as an excuse by people who don’t complete their tasks. It has also used by those trying to console those who have not finished a task or are trying to hard to complete a project in a certain amount of time.
If you are of the Christian faith then you hopefully subscribe to the creation story of God creating the Universe and the earth in 6 days. In Genesis 2:1-3 it is written “1: Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2: And on the seventh day God finished his work which he had done. 3: So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all his work which he had done in creation.”
We are not as mighty as God and yet according to this Biblical text even God rested after working. Who are we to put ourselves above God and not take a break from our work? We don’t want to work ourselves into the condition of “burnout” so what can we do to overcome the obsessive-compulsive habits of workaholism?
Part 2 of this article will explore ways in which you can relax and enjoy life more. Although work is important there is much more to life than work.
Sep
29
Teen Suicide Prevention
Filed Under Suicide Prevention | 1 Comment
Well it isn’t often that I do it but I am totally cheating for this post by publishing a pre-printed letter by Internet marketer turned cause promoter Ken McArthur. The cause that he is justly promoting is to prevent teen suicide. Tomorrow I am going to be sending this out in my weekly newsletter sent to the people who belong to my article directory Article Database. I encourage you to pass this letter on. Here is the letter:
Dear Friend,
My good friend, Ken McArthur is standing in a circus tent today asking 2,000 people to spread a message of hope to teenagers who don’t think that life is worth living.
I think it’s a great message of hope for anyone and would love to see all of my readers think about spreading it today.
Here’s Ken’s simple message for for giving hope (and maybe saving someone’s life!):
G - Greet and meet: talk to others, smile, say hello, ask someone how they are doing
I - Involve yourself and others: find a cause you can support, volunteer, pledge resources. Get the people around you involved, especially if you see someone beginning to withdraw. Invite them to participate in some activity, to “get out” of their comfort zone
V - Validate others: tell others that they matter – especially family members and friends that you tend to see daily but may take for granted, give genuine complements
E - Empathize: be a listening ear, take time to be fully present, don’t try to solve – just acknowledge someone’s feeling/hurt
You can find out more about Ken’s wonderful project with his Impact Action Team at:
http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=GgG6Z&m=1cD3X5uEn.hr_r&b=RporB3_5ICVEsm.UKJDLmw
Spread this message today!
And if you send it on let me know how many you sent it to!
All the best,
Keith Stieneke
Technorati Tags: suicide prevention, life, giving, communication, involvement, causes, validating others, empathy, gratitude
Sep
19
How do you treat people?
Filed Under Choices | Leave a Comment
This story was from an email forwarded to me by a friend. I don’t know if the story is true or not and as it is one of those stories that gets forwarded around the Internet via email the author of it has become anonymous. But it definitely does strengthen the point that a wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least fortunate amongst them.
What would you do? You make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: ‘When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?’
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. ‘I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.’
Then he told the following story:
Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, ‘Do you think they’ll let me play?’ Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, ‘We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.’
Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball…
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay… As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, ‘Shay, run to first! Run to first!’ Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, ‘Run to second, run to second!’ Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, ‘Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay’
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, ‘Run to third! Shay, run to third!’
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, ‘Shay, run home! Run home!’ Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
‘That day’, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, ‘the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world’.
Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
I encourage any of you reading this to use the ShareThis button at the bottom of this post to forward this story to your friends and family. Thank you.
Technorati Tags: choices, relationships, life, encouragement
