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Sep
25
Listening as a social skill
Filed Under Listening, Social Skills | Comments Off
This blog post begins the start of a new category that will overlap with other categories. That category is called social skills and is best described by the definition given at www.businessdictionary.com as the ability to communicate, persuade, and interact with other members of the society, without undue conflict or disharmony.
According to Henrik Edberg at http://www.positivityblog.com there are at a minimum at least eight basic tips on social skills that have been used successfully over and over throughout thousands of years.
One of the most basic social skills or component of social skills is to listen to another person or persons.
The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. ~ Ralph Nichols
Because people are often centered upon themselves and this being a part of human nature listening is probably one of the least appreciated social skills. Unfortunately most people are just used to talking about themselves or waiting for the other person to finish so they can start talking again. I have noticed that a majority of people, myself included, fall into this category.
Listening is about much more than hearing the words that come out of another person’s mouth. It is about showing interest in what the other person is saying and taking the time to understand what is being said. Rajesh Setty, who is a friend and business associate of mine, mentions that active listening is often overlooked for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, not being able to handle silence, amongst other reasons. Because of this people focus on talking rather than listening.
Henrik states to get past this he has found that it is important to just forget about yourself and focus your attention outward during a conversation rather than inward. In other words place the mental focus on the person you are talking and listening to instead of on yourself. This makes you less self-centered and your need to be in the spotlight diminishes.
When you actually listen to what people are saying it also becomes easier to find potential paths in the conversation. By asking what are known as open-ended questions – those that will give you more than a yes or no answer, you can explore these paths and have more interesting conversations.
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.— M. Scott Peck
Sep
2
upbeat, Cultivating the right attitude to thrive in tough times
Filed Under Performance Improvement | Leave a Comment
Many times I have referred to Rajesh Setty in this blog, especially referring to information from his book Beyond Code, Learn to distinguish yourself in 9 simple steps!
Rajesh sent me his new book, upbeat, Cultivating the right attitude to thrive in tough times, a few months ago.
When I reviewed Beyond Code, I did it as excerpts relating to personal development. Although, there was a great deal of information in upbeat, that could be related to personal development, I decided for the time being rather than to review the book based upon each concept and idea presented to review it in its entirety. The review that I wrote is published on Facebook.
You can also read more about this book at http://www.rajeshsetty.com/resources/books/upbeat/
Dec
18
Listening
Filed Under Listening | Leave a Comment
To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation -Chinese Proverb
The next to the last step within what Rajesh Setty describes as the outer game of distinguishing yourself is about listening. Unfortunately for several reasons such as ego, lack of knowledge, about asking questions, not being able to handle silence, and others, people focus on talking rather than listening.
There are several steps to developing better listening skills. These include but may not be limited to:
1: Listening to yourself first so that you encourage positive self talk.
2. Learn to ask the right questions, because our ability to talk less and listen more will depend upon two things. These two things are our wanting to listen, and our ability to ask the right questions.
It is improtant to listen without prejudice. Trust messages as if they were received from one of your mentors. Resist the temptation to reach conclusions instantly and to make statements based on such conclusions. Remember to keep an open mind as you will never know who will give you the next great idea.
A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with. – Kenneth A. Wells
Technorati Tags: rajesh setty, distinguishing yourself, listen, listening, asking the right questions
Dec
8
Leverage your influence
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Before the year is over I want to finish presenting the steps given by Rajesh Setty in his book Beyond Code – Learn How to Distinguish Yourself in 9 Simple Steps. I have already presented the first five steps. Those steps are referred to by Rajesh as the part of the inner game. It is now time to reveal the four remaining steps, those that are part of the outer game.
The first of those is leverage and here is what Rajesh says about leverage:
Leverage obtains its importance from the fact that we achieve different results because each of us invest our time and energy differently. We are reminded that we are not the sole handler of a problem but have many resources that we can leverage to help us, the most important of these being other people.
When I read what Rajesh says about leverage I am reminded of what Napoleon Hill said in his book Think and Grow Rich about people who formed a mastermind group. He claimed on his deathbed that the mastermind principle was the most important of all the success principles he identified. A mastermind group is a support team that meets on a regular basis to share advice, feedback, and ideas among its members. Together we know more and can focus more energy than any one of us can alone. The mastermind group can function as your personal board of directors. For more information about the MasterMind Principle go to http://www.getyourassetsingear.com/mastermind.htm
Technorati Tags: mastermind group, outer game, setty, inner game, success principles, leverage
